erynn: Gaelic merman image (Inis Man)
One thing I neglected to mention yesterday is that I've now seen the cover art for Circle of Stones and sent back my approval for the cover image. Only one of the three quotes I received would fit on the back cover, so the other two are going inside, but all three will be used, so thank you to everyone who sent them for me! I'm very grateful for your help.

I didn't get out to the party I wanted to this evening because after I went for a walk around the lake, the hips seized up again. I was hoping they'd feel better by the time I would have needed to leave, but even tylenol and tramadol didn't help much. They are still achy, but not quite at the stabbing me in the joints point, which was about where they were for a while. I am determined to be in good enough shape to deal with the walking I'll need to for Ireland and the rest of the trip. I do have an appointment with my doc to talk about pain medication and managing things while I'm overseas, but it's very frustrating.

When I would have been off having fun with [ profile] gra_is_stor and her guest, I spent the time outlining a dream incubation ritual for the evening after we've done incubation ritual at Carrowkeel. I figured that some people might not get a lot of result during a shorter incubatory ritual (some don't), but that a dream incubation that night that takes us back to Carrowkeel would offer an opportunity to integrate the experience and possibly to come out of it with something. For those who do get more of the experience they hoped for there, the opportunity to do a dream incubation could deepen or expand upon their work there, and allow them time to process it more intensely.

That done, I spent time doing more online research and discovered references to three different church sites associated with Brigit on the Isle of Man, and three accompanying Brigit's wells, though I don't know that all of them still exist. I was looking at an online copy of P.M.C. Kermode's Manx Antiquities from 1930, and it's been a long time since then. I have the general areas that they're in, and can likely find them with maps and such once I'm actually on the island. There might be others, but I find the idea of three of them quite appealing for obvious reasons.

I printed out images of the crosses with canid/dog-head images on them that [ profile] alfrecht would like me to find and photograph, then pasted them into my pilgrimage notebook with a few notes about general location. Again, I should be able to get better information about where to find them once I'm actually on the ground there and have access to the ordinance survey maps and the travel guides.

This has all been a really interesting process for me. I know that [ profile] vyviane has taken care of the vast majority of the research for the Irish sites we'll be going to, but looking for the original Brigit's well in Kildare was a rewarding project, even when I found aspects of it frustrating. That feels like it will all come together when we actually visit the site, and I'm hoping we'll have enough room there to do our opening ritual at the original well, then carry it forward to the newer well, which has more stuff set up around it, with a formal circuit to follow.

Doing the research really is a huge part of what makes the pilgrimage such a profound process. Going into it not having done anything, expecting everyone else to have done the research and the work would make me feel like a tourist, not a pilgrim. Working out what we will do in different places, which topics to discuss, what tales or poems to read -- it's all part of the gestalt that is building up around this for me. On the other hand, I worry that the work I do won't built the proper framework to help provide the intensity of ritual experience that the participants may want. I know that I'm not anyone's gatekeeper for this, but I know that at least some of the folks coming along are doing so in part because I'm the featured presenter, and I want to do my best to give them what they are hoping for from my participation.

I worry that my health will fail at the worst possible time and that I will leave everyone dangling. I tend to be more inclined to let myself rest when I'm at home. When I'm working at a con or a festival, I will do everything possible to teach the sessions I've promised to, even if I don't feel very well and would otherwise be curled up in a corner with a squishy pillow under my neck. The fact that people have paid for my transportation, lodgings, and most of my food for the pilgrimage only makes me more determined to do give everyone my best work. I know that I'm going to end up pushing myself very hard while I'm doing this and I'm prepared to do so, but I'm also operating with the understanding that I'm going to be nearly useless for a few weeks after I get home, and that I may have days after the pilgrimage while I'm still traveling that I might not be able to do more than just lie down and sip some tea while I hope that the pain meds work.

I'm going to be on the road for a month, so it is inevitable that I'm going to have a couple of migraines, a couple of days with cramps bad enough that I'll barely be able to walk, and quite possibly other physical problems as well. Despite any of that, I intend to have the best possible experience I can. Just being there is going to be a huge blessing and I want to be open to all of it as it is happening, to be in the moment and to live it as fully as I am able. This is less "I am going to have a good time dammit" and more "there are moments of beauty in everything and I will do my utmost to be open to them regardless of circumstances."
erynn: Gaelic merman image (Northwest forest)
Things were running late at the VA today. My appointment was for 2:30 but I didn't get seen until a little after 3pm. Thankfully, we didn't have a lot to go over. The meds appear to be working, but one month does not a statistical sample make. I told Nina I'd go with it for another couple of months to see what happened, given that there are months when I don't have hormone jag migraines, and this might have been one of them.

I stopped at Travelers afterwards, having a feeling I might run into [ profile] nathan_fhtagn there. Indeed, I did, and he was having chai with Caylean, so we chatted for a bit before they both dashed off. Sadly, I did not bring Munchkin Cthulhu with me. He said we need to make that happen at some point, so there will be an occasion, I'm sure. After they left, I spent half an hour or so poking at an essay on warrior stuff that I've been working at on and off for quite a while now. It's still pretty short, but my desultory poking really more reflects my immense ambivalence about both the term "warrior" and how I deal with that identity, being a disabled vet and a lefty peacenik. All I can really say is, it's complicated.

Since I had to haul books over to the Suzzallo, I headed out and found a parking space in the U District about four blocks from campus. I had a huge bag of the things to haul, but the library is open again until 10pm on weekdays, so I didn't have to worry about their hours between quarters. I hadn't brought along the library card, so all I did was drop the books. I got out of there at about 6pm. That's still pretty heavy traffic, so I went over to Cafe Allegro, where a lot of poetry readings apparently happen. They're in an alley off 42nd, just around the corner from Magus Books, and I hadn't been in there before, but it's not a bad little place. They have free wireless, which was useful, as I wanted a place where I could just sit and do some editing on a doc I've got online, rather than working on the warrior issues document on my netbook.

I'm not sure what will happen tomorrow, beyond the CR business meeting. I'm supposed to hear from [ profile] yiaya at some point, presumably if we're going to go wading around in nettles up to our shoulders.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (nicke's WRITY ICON)
Apparently the other night Burning Man had its first suicide. A man hung himself in a dome in one of the camps. I don't know whether people were drunk, stoned, or just not really paying attention but apparently the guy hung there for about two hours before people figured out it wasn't a performance art piece. All I can really say is thank the gods he didn't decide to do it with a gun. That was the worst of the insanity. )


erynn: Gaelic merman image (Default)

September 2013



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