erynn: Gaelic merman image (The Pupulator)
Today I got royalties from Immanion (YAY!) and heard from Mary that the remainder of what she owes me for the books she bought is headed my way. I emailed the contractor to ask about scheduling painting the repaired bathroom ceiling.

I also contacted VA neurology about the MRI and spoke with one of the nurses on the phone. The results returned normal, as I was expecting. This was a relief, but it still leaves me not knowing what's really going on. They are going to set me up a follow-up appointment.

Geordie emailed and says that he can't come tomorrow, but could he come Thursday and head back home Friday. I told him that would be fine with me.

Sadly, I didn't get to the queer Pagan meetup down in Seattle. Neither [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor nor [livejournal.com profile] ingvisson were feeling well enough, though we did get down to Third Place Books in Lake Forest Park, where they were meeting with Patrick about a project they are all working on together. I picked up another Italian language study book and a small book of readings in Italian and English in facing page translations, dated from the 13th to the 20th century so as to work on reading comprehension outside of textbook exercises.

I talked to Patrick about my concerns regarding the DoDC+3 and being at my brother's place in Italy with all the animals that are there on the property. He offered to take care of the pupulator for me while I am looking for my own place in Italy. Once I've found it, I can come back to Seattle to collect him and probably will be able to deal with shipping my stuff from storage at the same time. So I spent some time this evening looking for regulations about international travel for pets from the US to Italy, ordered a packet of the required forms, and an EU compatible microchip that a vet can inject. The chip he already has isn't EU compatible; most chips installed in the US are not, unless they're specifically requested. With Patrick offering to take care of Chris for a couple of months while I'm getting myself settled, that takes a huge weight off my mind. I was honestly concerned that I might have to give him up if I couldn't deal with the risk of having him on a farm with a bunch of other animals.

Today I also listed one of my bookshelves and the baker's rack on craigslist. We'll see if there is any interest.

Tomorrow: tit squish.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (giftie)
To start out, the neurology appointment went about as I expected - the doctor is kind of mystified but there are no signs that this is anything potentially fatal. She's suggested an herbal remedy and if that doesn't work then come back and we can try an allopathic medication, though I want to wait until I am done with selling the condo and getting to Seattle before I do because one of the primary side effects of the med is grogginess and tiredness, so I do not need that right now. She was very thorough in her questions and exam and does not feel that an MRI or anything of the sort is needed as I'm not showing any symptoms of anything that would indicate it at the moment. She spent some time attempting to classify my headaches ("maybe it's not a migraine, classifications have changed in the past several years"), but none of their categories actually fit, so she decided okay, it's a complex migraine and some of my symptoms are anomalous, so maybe dizziness is actually part of it, who can tell.

After we were done, I talked to her about the phone call yesterday and she said they are supposed to ask, but I told her that there was a really heavy-handed attempt to make me take the schedule change and then the guy didn't get back to me. She said, "yeah, I know exactly who you're talking about" and said she'd have some words with him. It sounded like maybe they had received complaints about this guy before, so maybe some attitude adjustment will be forthcoming.

I got done with the appointment in time to actually get to my group. I wasn't there for the last session as I was supposed to be on my road trip. I missed the group and apparently they really missed me because they all cheered when I walked in the door. Definitely good for my ego!

After the VA, [livejournal.com profile] ingvisson and I went over to Travelers, where I saw about half a dozen of my friends, including [livejournal.com profile] nathan_fhtagn, who was dashing in for some chai to go. We talked for a couple of minutes and he said that when I get to Seattle, if I need rides anywhere to give him a call and he might be able to take me places, so that was really sweet of him and I will possibly take him up on it if I need to get places I can't go by bus.

One of the gals who runs the Esoteric Book Conference was there - she'd said she had heard ripples in the community that I was leaving, then a second set of ripples about "OMG Erynn is selling her entire library." Of course, I said I wasn't selling the whole thing, just a good chunk of it. She wanted me to take it over to Magus because they give pretty good money (and one of the other EBC people works there); I said I was taking it over to Mary in West Seattle and she said that Mary paid pretty well too, so we shall see what we shall see. It was interesting to see the reactions of people to my situation.

After chai and food at Travelers, we went over to Magnolia for a Bach lute concert, which was really quite lovely and very enjoyable. Sadly, the musician hadn't brought any cds of his work to sell, which I found very surprising. The concert was about two hours, then we headed home. I stopped by at [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor's briefly then walked back to my place from there. All in all it was a really good day. Weather was pretty good for the most part, lots of friends seen and talked to, good food, and some excellent music. How much better does it get?
erynn: Gaelic merman image (OBEY THE FIST!)
I had a good session with my shrink today and got a lot of angry flailing done. The reason I had a lot of angry flailing was because the neurology clinic called me up a little after 1pm and said "oh the doc who is seeing you wants to see one of her regular patients instead so can you come in tomorrow at 10am to see a different doc?" If it had been a medical emergency, I might understand, but it was not in any way presented as that. I explained in great detail that I had zero control over my own transportation and that rescheduling with no notice at all like this was impossible because it involved not just me but whoever it was that was supposed to be driving me to the VA. And that one of the friends who drives me to these things had his car break down so I did not have alternative transport. And that I lived in Everett. And that I'd had to sell my fucking car because I can no longer drive myself. We will not even mention how neither I nor the people who drive me everywhere are morning people.

I told them that if they'd called me last week about rescheduling I might actually have been able to do something about it. The clerk mumbled and said they'd see what could be done and they'd get back to me. After I finished up at the travel office at about 4:15 this afternoon, I called the neurology clinic and the clerk said "oh, yeah, well we've left the appointment at 2pm." Nice of them to let me know.

There was a great deal of fury and rage, but things are back to what passes for normal and I won't have to wait another couple of months to get into neurology. The doc, however, is going to hear from me when I see her tomorrow. They insist that we are supposed to give them 24 hours notice if we are not coming or if we need to change our appointment. I did not get even that much time. I don't care if she sees me and does an evaluation and passes me on to somebody else, but I could not just drop things and go "oh yeah, I will now disrupt the life of the person who is doing me a huge favor by driving me 25 miles to come to this appointment on no notice, thank you very much."

Aside from that, I barely made it to my shrink appointment on time, and there was some kerfuffle about getting me home after the appointment that meant I took the 510 bus from downtown Seattle so that I would not be arriving here after midnight instead of the usual time. Anyway I got home about 7:30 and tried to deal with my woozy head. Nothing else got done today, but at least I managed to get through the day.

So anyway, tomorrow is neurology at 2pm, and then there will be a Bach lute concert in the evening. Maybe Friday I will get some more packing and some writing done.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (10 ceirt)
So nobody came last night for the bed. I am still waiting on word from the guy whose friend was supposed to come and help him (he couldn't last night) about whether they will be here tomorrow.

Tomorrow morning, sometime between 8am and noon, PUD will be here to pick up the freezer from my garage. It was here when I bought the place, and I haven't used it in forever. I wasn't sure if it still worked, but it does, which is good because they only accept working freezers and fridges for recycle. I spent a good 45 minutes shoving things around in the garage to get it accessible for the PUD people, then plugged it in and was happy to hear it rev up like some low-flying airplane.

Late this afternoon, [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor came by and we mailed off a couple more boxes of books to folks who bought them. Last day for buying anything from the database will be Thursday. After that we went to the UHaul to pick up boxes to pack the parts of my library that are staying with me. Once I get things suitably started with packing, I'll need to go rent a storage unit somewhere in Seattle to keep my things while I'm selling the condo and looking for a small place down there prior to (hopefully) moving to Italy.

One of the folks from the local steampunk group came by and picked me up, and we went out to join others of our company at a Mexican place over in Snohomish; it was a really lovely evening and we sat on the outdoor patio over the river in the sunshine and the cool breeze. The food was good, as was the company, but I couldn't stay too long after dinner, as I was tired and the dizziness was catching up with me.

When I got home I did a little bit of writing and some Italian language stuff online. Overall a very busy day, but I still feel very up in the air about what is supposed to be happening with the bed. I probably won't know anything until tomorrow evening after 5:30 from the guy who wanted to buy it. He's as much at somebody else's transportation mercy right now as I am. Still, this whole craigslist thing is annoying as hell and I'm not keen on using it much unless I have to. To date I have sold exactly Jack and Shit through them, though I am still holding out some hope about the bed.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (gull)
As I've noted/hinted in several places recently, the dizziness has pushed me into a situation where I have to sell the car and the condo and move. I'm going to have to be in a place where I can walk to everything for at least the foreseeable future. This may be months, or possibly years. It might conceivably be a permanent situation. Lengthy thoughts on moving and my future here below. )
erynn: Gaelic merman image (Bowie's disappointed in you)
I asked [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor to take me over to the Apple store today because my desktop was making rattling noises. It's one or both of the fans, but since my desktop is still under warranty, they'll replace them without charging me. They should call me tomorrow so that we can go over and pick it up.

Tomorrow should also be some grocery shopping, the Mensa TGIF at Emory's, and a birthday party for a friend over in Everett. I'm tired and hoping I will be up to all of this stuff. I was really dizzy today most of the day, and the drive to Alderwood didn't help much. I did get a little writing done in the last couple of days - about 3,000 words in the fic I'm working on. So far, so good.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (Tibetan chant)
I've been pretty busy writing fanfic lately, and dealing with tired and creaky and prepping for the trip to New York and all that stuff. I talked to my mom and she is okay; they tornadoes were supposed to go through their area but went around, so I am relieved by that.

I've been in touch with folks back east about my trip and am hoping to see several people while I am out there. One of the women who came to Ireland with me last summer will be coming to the poetry reading and awards ceremony, so it will be fantastic to see her again.

I am still dizzy with no end in sight. I called the otolaryngology clinic on Thursday and asked about neurology, as I haven't heard anything from them about the consult as yet. The gal I saw in oto the week before will call them and ask what's going on; the consult was received so they should be trying to schedule an appointment for me. Perhaps I'll hear from them before I leave next week. Maybe.

Generally speaking, I wish I were a little more focused, but I'm working on getting there. I'm pretty sure I'll eventually be able to deal with nonfiction writing again and my research, it's just going to take time. Which is disappointing, but that's life. On the up side, I've had a little progress, in that I'm able to write at all. Today I've spent doing some editing and checking for continuity in the story I'm working on, but that's very slow going because it's so detail-oriented.

Tomorrow [livejournal.com profile] alfrecht and some of his peeps are supposed to visit on their way back from Seattle. I'm looking forward to having a little company and doing Pagan schmoozing. I'm also supposed to review a piece that [livejournal.com profile] wire_mother sent me, and am hoping to do that tomorrow night, provided I have the brain juice.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (writy typewriter)
Today and yesterday I've mostly been working on fic, as it's about all my brain can handle right now. Irish class was yesterday and that went okay. I picked out the poems I'm reading on June 2nd in NYC and revised that list after an email exchange with Sheela. Talked with Dom about arrival and departure times and confirmed a few things about my stay there. Beyond that, I'm not really up to much. I've been working on online Italian lessons and doing okay. Hopefully some of it sticks. The dizziness continues unabated.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (asclepius rod)
It was a short-ish visit. We are no closer to a solution or an actual diagnosis. They are sending me to neurology as soon as they can get a consult through, but it is looking like this is either migraines or menopause related. In both cases, this is not likely to be a short-term thing. If, by some miracle, it is migraine related and they are able to find something that works to prevent them (unlikely, in my opinion), then it might be solvable within the next couple of years. If not, there is no way to tell. It might take a couple of years, or it might take a decade, or it might never go away.

I'm not going to think too much about it right now until I have been to neurology, but I'm going to have to start coping with the idea that this might actually be long term or permanent.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (tree of life)
Yesterday I tried to get online to update folks, but LJ was having trouble and I couldn't get in to read or to post. Thankfully, it appears to be fixed at the moment.

Yesterday was a dental visit to the VA. The minor pain I'd been having in one tooth turned out to be the grand canyon under one of my fillings. They had to remove the filling (which I expected) and the intern said they might need to do a root canal. Thankfully, that wasn't the case, but they did have to rebuild a huge chunk of the tooth. It's possible this filling may need to be replaced by a crown if there are any problems with it, but we shall see. I have a late June appointment for a cleaning and we can check things out again then.

Overall, still tired, still dizzy. I have an appointment at Otolaryngology tomorrow, and [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor will drive me there. I finished up a story and posted it, and it has been getting some nice comments, so I feel pretty good about that, at least.

One of the things that I've noticed is that some kinds of music (like the Hildegard concert) make the dizziness worse. It's by no means the only thing, nor the only kind of music, but it was very very noticeable while I was there in the cathedral. I get this effect at my desk while listening to the ipod sometimes, as well.

A little while ago I was trying to get into a jar of sauerkraut from a local company and it was the most impossible thing I think I've yet run into. The lid to the jar was plastic and I eventually ended up having to literally break the lid off the jar in order to get to the stuff inside. I went to the company's website and left a comment about it. I swear, my hands are going to be a mess for hours after this. It's hard enough getting into jars already - I don't need to have to use a fucking pickaxe to get into things. Anyway, the kraut is nice, but I can't go through that again. Just, no.

Yesterday, memberships for the Sherlock Seattle con went on sale, so I got mine.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (Ganesha)
Tickets to NYC were bought yesterday. I'll be flying in late on the 30th of May and leaving early on the 4th of June. I have a place to stay when I get there, and someone to go to the event with. I need to talk to a few of the other folks I know there and see about going to places I want to see. There's a bar there with a TARDIS, and I want to see the Cloisters and the NYPL while I am there. I figure that will probably be about all I can stuff into the few days I will be in the city and still preserve my energy and sanity.

Saturday [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor and I went down to Seattle for the Sherlock Seattle picnic. We had a great time; she hadn't been expecting much but got into some of the conversations folks were having. She figured it was going to be all fandom all the time, but this crowd isn't really like that. Yes, we love our fandom, but we also talk about all kinds of other things. After the picnic, we went to Mirch Masala for some pre-concert dinner, and talked with one of the gals from the picnic.

At the Medieval Women's Choir concert, we saw Brandy and Ted, and also Denny and Rebecca. The concert was glorious, all Hildegard music, with their soloist Marian Siebert, who is just incredible. After the concert a bunch of us went to Charlie's. I saw a text from [livejournal.com profile] thewronghands about tea and mochi. I was invited to come up with [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor, as things were still going, but it was late and the DoDC+3 was still in his crate, so we came back home.

Sunday I had a migraine and so I went to lie down in my room while the Irish class happened. I just didn't feel well enough to deal with it at all.

Wednesday I have a dental appointment and Friday I've got one at Otolaryngology at the VA, so that'll be one more step toward trying to figure out what's happening with me. Still dizzy, still not making any progress toward clearing that up at this point. It's exceedingly annoying. I'm getting a tiny bit of fic writing done, but that's about it.

I sent in an email about being a fic/writing panelist at the Sherlock Seattle con this fall. One of the local fans asked if I wanted to be on a panel she's doing and I said that sounded like fun, so we'll see what happens.

One of the things that I've noted is that sometimes certain qualities of sound cause the dizziness to be worse. The vocals at the concert, for example, were really triggering some dizziness for me. It sounded glorious, but it made my head spin. It was a fascinating sensation. I've noted that it also sometimes happens with certain types of music while I'm listening to my ipod at home. I don't know what that means but I'll be sure to mention it to the docs when I see them Thursday.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (Ganesha)
I got a text back from one of my NYC friends that I contacted and he will be happy to have me stay and to show me around the city a bit if I need to get out there for the Lammys. [livejournal.com profile] witchchild says that she wants to come to NYC to see me if I'm there, so that would be fantastic, too.

I got to go to the monthly Krakens steampunk social this evening with some friends, which I enjoyed. We talked about travel and politics and social responsibility and stuff like that. I talked about some of the changes in my life happening because of the constant dizziness. I'm not at the point of making an actual decision at the moment, but I am giving some serious thought to moving to Venice, where everyone walks, if I have to sell my place and move anyway. I've spent the last couple of weeks doing a lot of research into the idea and, while the paperwork would likely be a nightmare (when is bureaucracy not?) it does look doable. Toward that end, I was pointed to Duolinguo, a language-learning site that you can use to learn Italian, Spanish, German, French, Portuguese, and English. It's a pretty straightforward system and I've been playing around with it today for a while. Italian looks a lot easier than Irish, at least, in that it's a pretty regular looking romance language.

On the down side of things, I'm still feeling pretty crap and very tired. The dizziness makes it hard to focus for very long on anything, so even with relatively easy language lessons, it's something that turns my brain to much after about 15 minutes and I have to struggle beyond that. This, of course, is why I'm not working on my Brigid book for the moment. I need to get more used to dealing with this in order to focus on serious stuff. But maybe taking little bits of language work a few times a week -- between this and Irish -- I can work back up to being able to focus on my nonfiction.

One of the things that I would usually do for stress relief is meditation, which usually has a breathing component for me, but deep breathing is one of the things that makes the dizziness a little worse, so it's kind of counterproductive at the moment. I find that terribly frustrating. Actually, everything about this right now is very frustrating. Still, I'm doing my best to carry on. Sorry I'm going on so much about it lately. I'm trying to keep things in perspective.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (asclepius rod)
So today I got strapped into a chair in a pitch-black booth with heavy goggles over my eyes. I was spun around, had lights flashed around in front of my eyes, and a variety of other things which left me very queasy as well as much more dizzy than I was when I walked in the door. Cold and warm air were squirted into my ears. Other things were done.

Current end result: my ears both respond kind of differently though both are within normal parameters. They are fine when tested by themselves but for some reason they are not working properly together, and that's what's making me dizzy. The why has not yet been figured out.

I have an appointment to talk with a doc on May 17th, which is about three weeks. I was told that if it's a benign positional vertigo thing, it should resolve spontaneously within three to six months of onset, which still includes probably an awful lot of Not Driving. This is currently inconvenient but my best-case scenario.

If it is for some reason migraine-related, things are not looking quite so positive. That would mean they have to figure out how to actually treat my migraines (and the related dizziness), and the system has shown no particular useful response to that as yet. I get very sick on pretty much everything they have given me in the past and the best I can do for them is knock the pain back some with tylenol with codeine and wait them out. My hope for an actual resolution if that is the case is vanishingly small, as I have very little faith in the VA's neurology clinic regarding migraine treatment. If they can't do anything about it, I may have to regard this as essentially permanent, though I don't want to have to consider it that way just yet.

Needless to say, I was really wiped out by the time I got done at the audiology clinic. I staggered down to the travel office with [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor to pick up my cash, then we stopped at an Indian place for a little dinner (at 5pm it was my first meal since about midnight last night, due to instructions not to eat for 4 hours prior to the appointment), and grabbed a few things for dinner with Denny & Rebecca tomorrow. I crashed pretty hard for a while and will probably be going back to bed again soonish anyway.

In really cool news, [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor got asked to record an Irish lullaby with [livejournal.com profile] nathan_fhtagn. I had hoped to get the two of them in the same place with an opportunity to talk about music in hopes that something like this might happen eventually, so yay for success, and go go gadget networking skills! She's off to Portland tomorrow morning for an Irish immersion course over the weekend. I'm sure I'll hear more about this project as it develops.

I'm actually really glad that, even when I feel like complete and utter crap, I manage to get a few things done with happy results.

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