erynn: Gaelic merman image (autumn maple leaves)
Today mostly consisted of some cooking (I roasted a chicken) and Irish class. There was a little dishwashing, and a lot of online researchy stuff for Italy, but not a lot of physical activity.

Mostly right now I'm feeling a bit downhearted. It's not serious, just the current limbo, and concerns about dealing with the DoDC+3 in Italy. My brother lives in a tiny apartment on a farm with a bunch of other animals and I'm really concerned about how my poor little guy is going to deal with that. I worry that I might have to give him up, though my brother says it's okay to bring him. I would hate to bring Chris over and then have something go badly wrong when I get there, considering how aggressive he is around other animals.

Tomorrow I might go down to Seattle for the queer Pagan meetup. It sounds like [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor and [livejournal.com profile] ingvisson are up for it, and there might be a stop at Galway Traders.

Right now, though, I just want to curl up in a little stress ball in a corner somewhere. Not useful.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (10 ceirt)
So nobody came last night for the bed. I am still waiting on word from the guy whose friend was supposed to come and help him (he couldn't last night) about whether they will be here tomorrow.

Tomorrow morning, sometime between 8am and noon, PUD will be here to pick up the freezer from my garage. It was here when I bought the place, and I haven't used it in forever. I wasn't sure if it still worked, but it does, which is good because they only accept working freezers and fridges for recycle. I spent a good 45 minutes shoving things around in the garage to get it accessible for the PUD people, then plugged it in and was happy to hear it rev up like some low-flying airplane.

Late this afternoon, [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor came by and we mailed off a couple more boxes of books to folks who bought them. Last day for buying anything from the database will be Thursday. After that we went to the UHaul to pick up boxes to pack the parts of my library that are staying with me. Once I get things suitably started with packing, I'll need to go rent a storage unit somewhere in Seattle to keep my things while I'm selling the condo and looking for a small place down there prior to (hopefully) moving to Italy.

One of the folks from the local steampunk group came by and picked me up, and we went out to join others of our company at a Mexican place over in Snohomish; it was a really lovely evening and we sat on the outdoor patio over the river in the sunshine and the cool breeze. The food was good, as was the company, but I couldn't stay too long after dinner, as I was tired and the dizziness was catching up with me.

When I got home I did a little bit of writing and some Italian language stuff online. Overall a very busy day, but I still feel very up in the air about what is supposed to be happening with the bed. I probably won't know anything until tomorrow evening after 5:30 from the guy who wanted to buy it. He's as much at somebody else's transportation mercy right now as I am. Still, this whole craigslist thing is annoying as hell and I'm not keen on using it much unless I have to. To date I have sold exactly Jack and Shit through them, though I am still holding out some hope about the bed.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (Illya "Missed it by this much")
I got a query about the bed today and they were coming over to pick it up but their vehicle wasn't quite big enough to handle the whole thing, so they are coming tomorrow with a truck. I'll ask them to help me move the bed-couch into the bedroom so I can sleep on it. I cleared out the space for moving the mattress through and swept up omg dust monsters from beneath the bed. They seemed quite pleased with it, so I should have it out of here by 8pm tomorrow, I'm guessing.

Irish class was here this evening but I felt really out of it. Still feeling crappy about Garuda, but I keep telling myself it really did have to be done. This isn't like clearing out the library, it's more like hacking off a limb after having had a car for 12 years and now having to depend on everyone else again. At least when I move back to Seattle for the interim, I will be able to take public transit with some vague semblance of reliability.

Tomorrow [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor will be taking me down to the mail outlet to send out the packages of books that have been paid. I have a fair stack of them, and also sold some more books today from the database. I'm waiting for another person from Canada with a US mailing address to send me the payment for the books she requested. I also have to pay the bills, yay. *sigh*

Tuesday I'm hoping to get a ride to the steampunk social. We shall see if any of the usual suspects are willing. I'm still struggling along with the Italian. The heat is shredding my memory about as much as the stress, but I still think I'm doing more or less okay. I saw random Italian on Tumblr today and recognized several of the words so I got the gist of the conversation, which was nice.

And now I am going to try crawling off to bed. Maybe I can avoid too many sniffles.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (14 straif)
I sold Garuda today. He is going to a fine home with my friend [livejournal.com profile] ingvisson, but it still hurts. It makes the whole leaving here thing feel very immediate. I haven't driven in close to four months, so there was no use in keeping him, and all I was doing was paying insurance without actually having a reason to. I'll be getting my things out of him tomorrow or Monday.

I had a couple of friends come over today to buy books and other things. One of them spent $666, which gave us all a laugh. Pagans. Dude. That was so not planned. There are still a lot of books, music, and movies here, and I have a bunch of Pagan ritual tchatchkes as well. If people want to come and see what kind of Pagany things I have, please let me know and we can schedule a look. I'm not listing anything online for that. You can still look at the book listing until next Thursday, July 4th. If you're in the US and you want stuff, that's the deadline. I've decided I'm not going to try to do the Ebay thing because I won't be able to get acceptable shipping cost estimates to post on the entries. So next weekend I'll be hauling everything into Seattle (with help, obviously) and heading over to used book shops and probably Easy Street to see if they will buy the music.

One of the places I'd queried for a shipping estimate for Italy got back to me with a rough figure of $4,500 given the information I was able to provide. I know that the reality will be somewhat different, but at least it gives me a ballpark figure to work with. I thanked them and said if the visa was approved, I'd get back to them when I had more information about exactly where I would end up, and I filed it in the email folder with all the stuff I'm dealing with for the Italy relocation.

[livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor and [livejournal.com profile] ingvisson were here tonight, not just to deal with selling Garuda, but because [livejournal.com profile] ingvisson brought over a Troma drag movie, "Vegas in Space," that really kind of has to be seen to be... on second thought, no. Don't see the movie. omg. soooooo bad. I say this as someone who actually thinks "Plan 9" is pretty hilariously bad. This one was just painful. It had some moments but I think the colors just made my eyeballs boil. The two of them are going down to Seattle tomorrow morning for Pride but I am not up to it.

I got tickets to a Bach lute performance on July 11th, which [livejournal.com profile] ingvisson will take me to. I also picked up tickets for Steamcon for me and [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor, as prices go up on the first of July.

I'm feeling tired and sad and stressed, but that's how these things go. I'll be fine in a while.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (Wile E WTF)
So today I woke up to an email from Google telling me that the account associated with my seanet email address had its password changed. That account was never used for anything other than admin on my Searching for Imbas blog; I'd forgotten the password some time ago and had never done anything with it, so the blog is actually administered from my gmail account. I attempted to go and get control of the seanet Google account back but could not because I couldn't remember when the account was created or when the last time I'd logged into it was. I went and removed it from the Blogger account, though.

Later today I got an email from Google Play saying that somebody in Tacoma had ordered something from them. The Visa used was not an account number I am familiar with. After a couple of hours of searching various Google websites and help pages, I called to try to have the order cancelled. The help desk person said they'd do that if they could.

Several hours later, I got another email saying the thing had shipped. I called again and tried once again to explain things to people. I got shuffled over to Google Wallet, which is a service I have never used. After a lengthy struggle, I managed to convey that I had not ordered the item, that the address it was being shipped to was not mine, the credit card was either not mine or had expired years ago, and that I wanted any and all Google accounts associated with my seanet address deleted. I think that might have finally been accomplished. I was very clear with them that I had nothing to do with this order and, if they get defrauded because of it, I am in no way responsible for any costs associated with the mess.

My actual seanet email account and website appear to be fine, but if you get any emails from me from my seanet account that don't actually sound like they are from me? Let me know because there might have been further consequences of this incident. As far as I know, there should be no issue, but I just want people to be aware of what happened.

I've been feeling like complete crap the past couple of days anyway, and the depression is getting to me pretty badly. I talked last night to [livejournal.com profile] man_of_snows and today to [livejournal.com profile] ogam about different aspects of things I'm struggling with, which was nice. Skype text chat is pretty useful when the system actually bothers to send the messages. Sometimes they seem to just get stuck in the great bit bucket in the sky.

I'm doing my best, but it's hard right now. Not knowing what's happening or how to alleviate the problem is confusing and frightening, and the dizziness compounds the usual fibro fog to a truly awful degree. Sometimes simple conversations can get a little confusing. If I find out that the dizziness is permanent, at least that's a place I can work from. Not knowing is the hardest part of this.

And I feel like I'm complaining a lot here lately, for which I apologize. I know this isn't anything more than really inconvenient in an absolute sense. Yes, it may change my life in some extreme ways, but things could be a lot worse. That said, it's still pretty frightening. The kinds of changes I may have to contemplate are far-reaching and I wish I didn't have to think about them. Today's confusion and stress really just made things worse, but I'm doing my best to talk to people and keep on top of things.

Sometimes, however, a hug would be really nice.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (tree of life)
Despite the fact that I'm continuing on with the dizziness and that it's remaining quite uncomfortable, I've been able to maintain at least a little bit of my social life. I got a ride out to one of the local steampunk social things, that being a small gathering for one of our folks who has been deployed for the last several months and was back for a few days before he's off again until December. Sadly, [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor wasn't able to go along, as she wasn't feeling well, but a ride was arranged nonetheless. Yesterday one of the local Mensa folks gave me a ride to the monthly gathering, which has moved up to Shoreline - there was a presentation on resources for figuring out the veracity of information on the internet. I knew about some of the available resources, but did learn a few things, so that was pretty good.

The Everett Irish lessons are happening on Sundays, and the venue has flaked out on us so they have been permanently moved to my place until further notice. Next week there won't be a class, as our two teachers ([livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor and [livejournal.com profile] ingvisson) are going down to Portland for an immersion weekend.

Talked to my mom briefly today because she emailed about going to Atlanta and worrying about crossing the river before it floods. I was worried that it was a severe weather thing, but it's just that her husband is going to a ship's reunion that's happening there this coming week. No emergencies, yay! They should be leaving first thing in the morning. I'm guessing they're actually probably already on the road, given the time difference.

The dizziness is getting increasingly frustrating and depressing, but I am doing my best to just carry on. Thanks to everyone who has expressed support privately, or in other places on the web. You are greatly appreciated.

In other news, the Esoteric Book Conference is now selling memberships. The date is September 14-15 and I've ordered my membership. Sherlock Seattle has its dates (October 4-6 at the Broadway Performance Hall again) and will be selling memberships beginning early in May. These, at least, are some cool things to look forward to.

Crap days

Apr. 19th, 2013 12:52 am
erynn: Gaelic merman image (Everything Hurts)
Yesterday was a pretty crap day. I was really dizzy all day long and pretty down about the whole thing. I managed to beta a fic for a friend, but that was about all I could handle. I was doing slightly better today and managed to finish up the fic I was working on for an April fandom exchange, so that was pretty good at least.

I sent off email to Ian Corrigan with a backup CC to another ADF druid I know (in case Ian for some reason isn't getting my emails), letting them know that I've cancelled for Wellspring. I had kind of wanted to wait until I heard back from Ian about this before I made any public announcement, but it's been a few days since I sent my initial note and I've heard nothing. It's just time that I admitted trying to get out to Wellspring this year is an unrealistic hope. Nothing is really going to fix it before I'd have to go and I shouldn't push myself on this.

Thankfully, next Wednesday I have a visit with my shrink and can talk with her about this. That usually helps some.

I still feel like crap, generally speaking, but am trying to refrain from sinking into a morass of negativity beyond just cancelling the trip. That I can't focus enough to write nonfiction is problematic, but less important for the moment.

For those folks who were hoping to see me either at Wellspring or on my trip out and back this year, I'm sorry. I wish things were different but I have to be realistic about my situation. With any luck, maybe I can do this next year. I'm still holding out some hope for Eight Winds, later in the summer. Perhaps things will be more stable for my by then.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (asclepius rod)
Yesterday I was over at the VA for an initial hearing test. The tech tells me that she didn't see anything wrong with the inner ear, and that my hearing in general appears to be just fine. She was going to pass the results and the questionnaire I filled out over to their weekly Monday panel to evaluate cases of dizziness and that I'll get a call next week. She also scheduled a more complicated 3 hour test for me on the 25th to see if they can figure out what is causing the dizziness.

At this point, I'm starting to think I'm not going to be able to go back east. I remember how out of it I felt doing the panels at Norwescon, and that was just me sitting around talking about fanfic. I didn't have to prepare anything, and I wasn't the sole person carrying the show along.

To be honest, I have enough trouble doing solo presentations on good days. I love doing it, but they are stressful and I deal with the whole anxiety/stage fright thing beforehand, as well as often feeling like I'm floundering even when I'm doing well. I'm sitting here trying to imagine what it would feel like to try and do three solo presentations feeling like I do right now, sitting at my desk - only exhausted from travel and living in a tent. I don't think I'll be able to.

If this were to miraculously get resolved next week, I might be able to regain enough ground to do the presentations, but I still have not done much prep work toward putting them together. I could do a basic presentation on ogam, but they want two different things on ogam and one on the history of CR, and I just don't think I'm up to it right now.

I hate that thought. I hate the fact that my body is once again screwing me over and there's currently nothing I can do about it. I went out this weekend and had a lovely time at the Abney Park/Steam Powered Giraffe show, but I was still feeling rather out of it the whole time. Nothing I do seems to help.

The audiology tech also wanted to give me a bunch of information about migraines, suggesting that maybe my migraines had changed in character from pain migraines to vertigo migraines (apparently such things exist), but I could not imagine that after nearly 40 years, they were suddenly going to go from a couple of times a month mostly triggered by hormones to over a month of constant dizziness. That makes no sense at all. A good 90% of the information on the paperwork she handed me was stuff I already knew and had no bearing whatsoever on dizziness or vertigo. I left the papers with her. I figured at least they could give them to someone who would get some use out of them, rather than me taking them home and just recycling them. I think she may have been a little frustrated with me over that, but I can't help it that I've had to deal with this stuff most of my life and I know more about what my body is doing than she does.

So I am frustrated and depressed and have yet more medical appointments to deal with, all while still not able to drive and contemplating having to cancel something I was really looking forward to doing a month from now. I still can't concentrate enough to work on writing nonfiction. I can't even work on my research because I can't focus that much at the moment.

I don't want to miss out on seeing everyone. I don't want to not be able to visit my mom. I feel like making a decision not to go is giving up, failing.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (giftie)
I slept later than I had anticipated. [livejournal.com profile] ogam texted me to say he won't be getting here until the 18th, apparently, as he's been sick. I had a confusion about when the Abney Park concert is (January, thought it was December) so I thought there was a schedule conflict. I'm relieved that it wasn't an issue.

This evening [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor and I went down to Seattle to hang out with some friends at a birthday party for a couple of hours. It was nice to see everyone, and the birthday girl was thrilled we were there, so that was nice. I was out of some things that I needed (dog food, half and half) and so we stopped at Safeway on the way back. I had wanted to get out and pick things up yesterday but wasn't feeling well enough to really leave the house for it. I'm glad I was able to get out today for a little while.

I spent some time going over the two issues of Abraxas this evening and wondering whether what I want to write about ogam and magic will actually fit in with their stuff, but I suspect it's just my usual writer anti-ego speaking. That's the one that says I can't actually write and my work is crap and nobody wants to read what I have to say anyway. Which is patent bullshit, but it's what my brain churns out. I always feel this way when I'm trying to start a new project and it sucks.

I was also looking at notes and things for the Brigid book, wondering what I wanted to do with/about that. I do need to start it sometime soon, but it keeps mutating in my head and I'm not quite sure what I want to do with it beyond it being a vehicle for helping people with a flamekeeping practice. How to best accomplish that is the question. I'll probably talk about it with [livejournal.com profile] mael_brigde when she gets here later this month.

Migraines

Sep. 19th, 2012 12:48 am
erynn: Gaelic merman image (Everything Hurts)
I went over to [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor's place today and helped her haul some things in from my garage. We moved some of her furniture around and unpacked a bunch of her kitchen stuff before my head decided to explode on me. I was not happy. I'd hoped to help her out more, and to head over to the AFK for steampunkery this evening, but it was not to be.

I'm feeling all crampy and headachey and not sure if I'll be able to go into Seattle tomorrow for shrinkage at the VA. I may need to call in and see if I can get in to talk to Tracy next Wednesday. I'm not feeling too optimistic at the moment, but one never knows. [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor did say she'd be willing to drive me down there tomorrow, but I'm not sure if I'll be in any shape to leave the house.

Got a little writing done today but I really need to get some half and half for my tea, as I ran out a couple of days ago. Not quite enough time to walk down to Safeway, as they close at 1am. I'll probably try to do so tomorrow, as I don't want to drive over to Albertson's. The lights out there would not mix particularly well with my eyeballs right now.

LJ has rolled out a new posting interface. It's not awful. I'll be fine with it.

We'll see what happens tomorrow in re: the VA.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (writy medievalist)
I started the day very achy and rather migrainous, but a hot shower and some tramadol helped at least a little, particularly when washed down with a couple of hefty doses of Irish Breakfast tea. I messed around online a bit then got down to searching for links and entries from the many open tabs of the dindshenechas (several versions) and pulled a few things from the Colloquuy of the Ancients, as well. It was a rather lengthy day. The migraine isn't too bad but my shoulder is bugging me now. I tossed what I could find into a file and sent it off to [livejournal.com profile] vyviane and Jhenah. Some of it can be dug through for the pilgrimage packet, and some will probably be useful posted to the list, but I wanted them to have a look.

I don't know what kind of time or bandwidth either of them have right now, but this finally leaves me only the daily readings and the rituals to finish. I'll try to get through at least some of the readings choices tomorrow.

I read from [livejournal.com profile] varina8 that Travelers in Capitol Hill will close on July 8th, though the restaurant on Beacon Hill will remain open, as it's doing reasonably well. If you have anything to spare, please do consider going by and buying what you can, to reduce their inventory that will have to be moved, and to help support them through this difficult time.

I'm trying not to feel all stressed out about everything, but sometimes I don't really have a choice about how my body reacts to this stuff. I'm not keen on having to pop something for the anxiety and hope that it remains manageable for the time being.

And now I'm hungry again.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (writy pooped)
Umm... I got showered and dressed? I fed myself? I took the dog outside?

I think that's about it.

I still feel like crap. I'm cranky and headachey and skipped my VA appointment today (I did call in to cancel, about 2:30 am). I was awake until about 8:30 this morning. I have to get out of the house tomorrow to pick up some supplies for Saturday's Imbolc crafts session and parsnips to roast for Sunday's Imbolc ritual gathering.

Sure as hell hope I'm able to get out of the house tomorrow.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (10 ceirt)
What was intended as a half-hour appointment at the VA today to deal with migraine medications turned into a marathon deal. I did talk to the doctor (20 minutes late), scheduled a pap smear for mid-December with a different doc (ugh), then went to drop my prescription at the pharmacy because I rather need a tramadol tonight. I then proceeded to the PTSD outpatient clinic to talk to a meds doc, since mine was transferred out of the clinic earlier this year.

I ended up talking to the pharmacist down there, who informed me that I'm actually only taking half of the dose of antidepressants I was supposed to taper up to. That would be me being cautious and figuring if a lower dose worked, I probably shouldn't go higher. Anyway, I'll up the dose a bit starting tomorrow. I also made an appointment with a new meds doc for a couple of weeks from now.

After all that, I ended up waiting about an hour in the travel office for my money there. By the time I got out of there, it was after 4:30, but I headed directly home anyway, as I had the steampunk social tonight and couldn't really wait in Seattle until the traffic calmed down.

Thankfully, we had a lovely gathering this evening. Plans continue apace for the New Years Day traveling tea party. There are also plans afoot for an actual logo for the Everett group. There were eight of us this evening, and it was a relief to just hang out and relax and talk about bad movies and steampunk and whatnot after the crappy day at the VA. I told Kayla she should consider having Air Kraken Calamari available and she said she'd talk to Butch about having it as a Tuesday special. Hell, I'd order fried calamari if they had it!

Amidst all this, I forgot to get the salt for my salted Moroccan limes project. I'm too tired and headachy at the moment to go out to the store to get some.

The appointment with my doc was something of a comedy of errors. She's okay, but was essentially spending time telling me a bunch of things I already knew. I know she had to cover the basics of "if you take tylenol every day, you're likely to get rebound headaches" but I've known that for years and they are less problematic than the fibromyalgia that I take the tylenol for in the first place, and nothing at all like the pain of the migraines I was after the tramadol for. We spent a fair bit of time dancing around the whole "yes, Erynn actually knows what she's talking about, can we move on, please," stuff. It will probably go better next time.

Writing is not getting done tonight, but some editing is happening, which is helpful as I reread what I've written in the last few days.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (Bowie's disappointed in you)
Once again, my aethertubes have had complete fail at home. I am at the AFK messing about with stuff that I have to be online to do, before heading back home to attempt something vaguely resembling sleep, given that I have my VA spirituality group tomorrow.

I was informed that [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor now has actual inhabitable furniture at her place, so there will be somewhere comfy to sit instead of perching on really awkward folding chairs or wooden bar stools. This will be happymaking and I will be making the acquaintance of said furniture tomorrow after group. Also, turkey day will be at chez [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor.

The weather today was rainy but not nearly as cold as yesterday. Garuda didn't get frosted over, for instance. I left about half an hour early for my yoga group because one can never be certain how traffic will react in the rain. It was fine, though, thankfully, and I got there in about the usual amount of time. Shrinkage was also today. It was suggested that I might want to talk to my meds doc, as I've been having depressive jags much more frequently recently than has been my usual and Tracy said it might be useful to consider an increase during the winter and dipping back down to current dosage once the weather turns good again, or at least when the time change goes back to more light. This will necessitate a visit to the outpatient PTSD clinic to request a new meds doc, given that mine has departed the VA as of a few months back. I believe I was assigned a new one, but I haven't seen her yet. It's probably about time, and I may well be due for another liver function test just in case.

After the VA, I dropped into Travelers, where I was joined by [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor and then by Jeff and eventually by Charles, though they weren't all in the same place at the same time. There were some conversations about the schmooze and about ritual and whatnot. I'm going to try working on some stuff regarding the juniper use in the group sometime soon, I think.

PantheaCon is starting to announce names of presenters publicly, though beyond that, we're not really supposed to say anything regarding either the sessions or the schedule. They'll let us know when we can do that. I'm kind of confused this year, given that they're announcing things publicly but not wanting us to do the same. Anyway, I'm complying.

Scribbly bits on fic continue apace.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (writy pooped)
Today was yoga at the VA. I also had to deal with the women's clinic there, as they had sent me a note a couple of weeks ago that I should call them and schedule an appointment with a new doc. I had tried calling a few times, but they never even answered the phone, so I went in there today in person to deal with it. I had in initially made an appointment a month or two ago, which they called and told me to cancel because they intended to have me seen by a different doc who wasn't in the clinic yet.

It turns out that this new doc they wanted me to see only does a morning clinic, so I wasted all this time waiting around and getting frustrated with nobody answering the phones. I'm supposed to see the one I've scheduled for later this month; part of my issue has been that I used the last tramadol (prescribed to me for migraines since the migraine-specific stuff makes me feel like I've been hit by a truck while having cardiac arrest, and doesn't actually stop the migraines anyway) last week. Nina had only given me a scrip for one fill, and the pharmacy won't renew a scrip unless it has an approval from your doc. I mean, it makes sense, but it's not like I've had a doc I could go to for the last several months who could renew the prescription.

Anyway, I'm hoping this will be resolved by the end of the month, but it does mean that the week of the 28th I get to spend three days in a row going down to the VA for crap. I'm not thrilled. Further nattering here. )
erynn: Gaelic merman image (Navy seal)
Before I headed over to Bothell today, I forgot to put Nicole's number in my phone, so I ended up having to ask a couple of the admin types to help me figure out where the classroom was. That took about 20 minutes, but I had thankfully come considerably early and still arrived in the room 15 minutes or so before class was supposed to start. This, my children, is why we arrive at places early -- so that when we are stupid, we can save face and still show up on time. More nattering under here. )
erynn: Gaelic merman image (gir explode)
I spent a fair amount of today trying to download software updates, so I didn't post anything on the 20th. Not dead yet. I do, however, appear to be coming down with a cold after the con. Damn you con crud! *shakes fist impotently*

Beyond all the crap with failing downloads and stuff (failed downloads this week have led to my blowing my 3 gig for the month instead of being way under, as I would normally be), I've also dealt with dishes and done a response to comments on the Samhain ritual on the CR list. I'll need to make a few revisions to the text, but probably not too much. I'm considering going down to Seattle tomorrow to a cafe I know of with an actual ethernet connect in hopes that a hardwired net connect will fix the download problem, given that "network timeout" seems to be a part of it. I haven't decided as yet, though.

I'm also currently working on Burying the Poet for Mandragora with some of [livejournal.com profile] finnchuill's suggestions for clarification and expansion. It's likely that will be finished up tomorrow, then back to [livejournal.com profile] finnchuill for a last look prior to sending it out to Ruby Sara. I'll be pleased to finally have that essay off to the editor.

The weather and my biochemistry are working against me again, and I'm feeling crappy and vaguely depressed for no good reason. I had the happy light on for several hours today, but it was of limited assistance. There were a few moments today when curling up in a ball and sniffling seemed like a possibility, but I managed to refrain. I really hate it when I feel like that. I probably just need to watch something funny. It might help.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (Brighid's cross)
My essay for Mandragora, "Burying the Poet: Brigid, Poetry and the Visionary in Gaelic Poetic Traditions," is finished at 3156 words and has been sent off to [livejournal.com profile] finnchuill and [livejournal.com profile] alfrecht for their comments and suggestions. Finally! I think I've done pretty well with it, and now I can turn my attentions to finishing up details for the Samhain ritual that I have to deal with. Tomorrow is the CR schmooze business meeting, my VA yoga group, and picking up [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor before we deal with Steamcon this weekend.

I was just glad to get the writing for this one out of the way. I still have an article to do for Phosphorus, but I may not get that finished before the end of the month (I'm thinking probably not, in fact). I have no idea if I'm going to be able to get that one together in that short a time. I've hardly got more than a paragraph or two in it at the moment. It's such a huge and messy topic that it can be hard to tackle, even if I do have one particular example I'm working from.

I went over to the AFK tonight to have dinner with Herb and one of his spawn. We had a pretty good time, and some yummy foods. I won't be there tomorrow for the weekly steampunk social, obviously.

Politics make me crazy. Topeka, Kansas has repealed its domestic violence laws to try to save money. Screw saving people's lives.

Mississipi has proposed a measure that will make fertilized ova "persons" under the law and may well criminalize miscarriage.

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with people? Get the hell out of my fucking uterus, damn it! For a bunch of people who claim they want government out of their lives, they sure love to jam it up women's vaginas.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (Feminist dialectic brings 'em)
Boston police tonight forbade any photography or filming and then went in and started bashing heads at Occupy Boston. They were beating members of Veterans for Peace who are part of the protest. Boston police report that "no protestors or police were injured" but I'm not so sure about that.

Seattle is at an uneasy peace. The Mayor's office just went down to Westlake to tell them they would not be removed tonight, despite threats from the police but could "not say the same about tomorrow." The protestors are nonviolent and have been all along. I still have friends at Westlake right now and I hope they remain safe. So much of this is all about intimidation, and for what? To protect billionaires and banks who are sucking our country dry? To protect the people who have been shipping all the jobs overseas, where they don't have to pay a decent wage or worry about safety regulations? To protect politicians and officials who have kept us at war for the last ten years, with no end at all in sight? To "protect" all these powerful people and organizations from non-violent occupations?

I'm wondering where all the police action was when Tea Party protestors were bringing guns and disrupting town hall meetings all over the country? As far as I know, none of the Occupy movement people are toting guns around, yet they're getting maced and beaten. Of course, the Tea Party was total astroturf, where the Occupy movement is a genuine grassroots uprising. Funny how that works.

In other news, I've managed to get my Mandragora essay up to just over 2500 words. I'm too distressed right now to continue writing, but I am hoping that I'll be able to work on this some more tomorrow. I'm only 500-ish words to the minimum length for the project and should be able to make that fairly easily so long as I stay with it. My daily word count isn't that great, but I think the material is really good.

I walked down to the Safeway today to pick up a couple of things, in part because I needed them but also because I needed to make sure that I didn't stiffen up too much to move. My hips were not happy with me. I'm still feeling it from Friday and wishing I was in better shape. I would do so much more right now if I didn't hurt so much that walking was difficult.

I wish strength to all my friends who are acting on their principles. I hope for no violence. I'd be there with you if I could.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (Insane: What's Your Excuse?)
Today was a mix of getting a tiny bit of editing on Circle of Stones done and finishing up Survivors' Songs, which book has given me a lot to think about in terms of my own military experiences. I'm not sure I'm quite ready to talk about that bit as yet, but when I finished that I got a few more sections into Awake in the Wild, a book on mindfulness meditation in the wilderness.

Mostly I read, because I felt like crap today. Going over Circle of Stones like this... it's a little bit painful. I've learned so much since I wrote the book and looking back and seeing my own ignorance showing aches a little. I know that people want the book back in print, so I'm gritting my teeth and doing my best to ignore my own issues with it so that it can be done. The scan and turning it into text not only removed all the formatting, it hacked out a few entire sections. I'm going to have to re-type several of the two-column bits that were Gaelic/Irish and English side by side. Still, it should only take me a couple of weeks, even if I have to stop and take deep breaths every few paragraphs as I'm editing.

I'm feeling particularly tetchy and vulnerable at the moment due to crappy hormonal issues. It always makes me more sensitive and more easily discouraged. Maybe in a couple of days I'll feel better about it. Or, at least, maybe I'll feel less physically creaky. That would help. Right now I'm mostly feeling depressed and dealing with sharp spikes of frustration tinged with anger for no particular reason. I always hate that. I'd give a lot right now for a good massage and a little herbal muscle relaxant.

I hardly managed to do anything physical today. Cooking was a challenge, even though all I did was toss a couple of things in the oven and let them sit long enough to cook through. Once again, laundry didn't get done, though three days of dishes finally did. I suppose one physical feat is enough for any given day at the moment.

Mom emailed and said she was taking my brother to the airport today. Good luck, dude.

I have no idea how I'm going to feel tomorrow. I hope it's better than this. Happily, we had a sunny day here, even though the temperature didn't get over 68. It was pretty out, but there was a bit of a breeze and it was a little too cool that way for me to be terribly comfortable. I had the lanai door open and that was enough to air the place out without letting the breeze in -- it was blowing westerly and the sliding door is north-facing, so it didn't do much in here at all.

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September 2013

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