erynn: Gaelic merman image (Sarasvati)
Today was my bill-paying day. I dealt with it before the first for once because the VA check came in Friday. Laundry got done. I had a very quick email exchange with the consulate that cleared up a misunderstanding I had (very minor, a misreading on my part regarding the amount of the filing fee). I sent an email to my brother asking him a couple of questions, though I won't hear back from him for at least a week. I also bought a round trip plane ticket for San Francisco so that I can go to the consulate for my appointment and sent the itinerary to [livejournal.com profile] lwood so she knows when I'll need to be fetched and dispatched. I'll check in with her tomorrow to make sure she got the information. I posted the list of bookshelves for sale to the SeaPagan list and got a note back from a couple of my friends in Everett. I emailed them back but should probably text them tomorrow to see if they got the email. Craigslist ads were renewed for the stuff I currently have listed for sale.

I'm not going to be buying my ticket for Italy until late next week, after I'm sure that BECU has had time to show my account balances before I spend that much money. I know ultimately it doesn't actually make huge amounts of difference there, but still, I will feel better with a larger number on their paperwork. This is why I've been selling all my stuff, so I can afford these expenses.

I've asked [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor for her friend's email address so we can coordinate about project Impress Italian Bureaucrats. It'll be easier to do this with all three of us in email than in text I think. I need to get some passport style photos of myself for the application but I can't do that until I have dealt with the green hair. I'm about due for a hair cut anyway, and that will remove a fair bit of the green, though I don't want to cut it so short that all the green is gone, as that would probably be too short for my October appointment.

[livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor took me out to do the grocery shopping this evening. I was dizzy enough that when I tried to put the grocery bags in the trunk, I though the car was moving. Definitely a very weird sensation, because I knew it was parked and motionless. Very disconcerting. All is well, though, and everything got done that needed doing today.

Tomorrow, Irish class and dealing with more paperwork. Slow progress is still progress. Keep breathing.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (AAAAAIIIGHH!)
Today was the last day for this session of the spirituality group at the VA. We have a two week break, then back to it for another 10 or 12 weeks. I'd been keeping an eye on twitter while I checked my email in the morning. WSDOT was putting up alerts about a really bad accident right around the West Seattle Bridge that had traffic backed up for about 11 miles. Armed with that information, [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor and I left early and went down 99 and around up behind Capitol Hill, but we still arrived about 40 minutes late for my appointment. It took two hours to drive what usually takes only about 45 minutes. There were accidents everywhere along the roads today. I have no idea what was going on, unless people were so messed up by the rain today.

As we were driving south, I got a call from another realtor, who wanted to bring people by. I told her to go ahead and do that. I mentioned the dog in his crate and said I wouldn't be home until evening.

After the VA, we went over to Travelers. I hadn't seen Leon or Allen in a while, and it was good to talk with them. Leon was really sweet to me, and I had a lovely thali before we headed up to the hill. Traffic was still a mess, even northbound (when we were done at Travelers, apparently southbound I-5 was backed up nearly to Lynnwood), so we stopped by Edge to say hi. I hadn't been in there in quite some time, and hadn't actually seen Robert in even longer, as he hadn't been in the last time I visited. He hadn't been aware of my dizziness, or that I was trying to move to Italy, so we talked about that and I picked up some road opener stuff to do a ritual to help move things along through the inevitable bureaucratic tangle.

When I got home, I dropped into skype to hang out with [livejournal.com profile] random_nexus and schmooze about a fic she's working on, then I talked to [livejournal.com profile] lwood for a while. Most of the people I talk to seem to think that my potential move to Italy is a done deal, even though I have tried to be really clear that this is just something I am trying to do. People are all asking me if I've already moved back to Seattle when they see me, not realizing that I can't do that unless and until the condo sells. I can't always remember who I've told what, so I end up having to tell the sordid tale over and over. I worry that I'm being too repetitive or too needy or too something. My friends all tell me that I'm not being burdensome about the whole thing, and I am being assured on a fairly frequent basis that I am loved and appreciated, which is making this whole stressful thing much easier to deal with. I'm still not entirely certain why I haven't collapsed in a whimpering heap yet.

Tomorrow about noon, the contractors are coming by to finish up the bathroom with some texturing and a coat of paint. I'm not sure how long that will take. [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor says there is a party at Michael's place tomorrow evening and that she needs to be there by 6pm. There will be music (their band is playing), and firespinners. We'd have to leave by 5-ish, I imagine. If the painting is done by then (I am pretty sure it will be, but can't be certain until I talk to the contractors), then I'll be happy to go. There may be a hot tub involved...

Her friend Kent says he will help me with the whole "impress the Italian bureaucrats" fashion project. I'm to come up with a budget and he will haul me around and get me into clothes that will be less alterna-goth-steampunk and more mainstream, while still being reasonably comfortable for me as a human being. We shall see how that goes.

Geordie wasn't able to come down today due to a scheduling kerfuffle but, considering the traffic misery, that was probably for the best. He had hoped to come down Saturday with a friend who is driving to Seattle, but there's not enough room in the car. Instead, he'll be coming down next Wednesday and I'll probably pop on the bus and meet him down in Everett. The 510 does run from the park & ride here to the Everett central depot (it's one stop away), so we can hop back on the bus and have maybe a 15-20 minute walk back from the park & ride to my place once I meet him at the Greyhound. I'm hoping it doesn't rain, as at that hour of the night it's going to be a while between busses and we'll have to be waiting outside.

Today was frustrating and tiring, though more for [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor than for me, given she was driving. Still, we got through the chaos. Tomorrow I have emails to write that I didn't get to today.

Breathe.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (tree of life)
Sent out some necessary emails today. The credit union says it can provide one of the letters I need for the visa application, all I have to do is tell them what the consulate wants. Once I figure out exactly what I need to pull from my documentation I can send it to them and see if they can make heads or tails of it. They offered to either mail it to me or to fax it to the consulate, but I need them to send it to me, as it all has to come in as one packet with the visa application.

The people who inquired about the bookshelf last night came today and picked it up. They said it was perfect for what they needed and would fit pretty much exactly into the space they had for it.

Another realtor came by with a couple of clients this evening to look at the place. They were only a few minutes away, so I took a couple of minutes to clean up then took the DoDC+3 out for a short walk to wait for them to come and go. It wasn't necessarily brightly sunny most of the day, but it was warm enough, and pleasant to sit out on the bench at the top of the lot for a little while.

I've listed both an electric coffee grinder that some of my friends have used when visiting, and a hand-painted Thai tea set in the shape of an elephant for sale on craigslist today. So many things that need to go.

Geordie won't make it down tomorrow. He'll probably be here Wednesday next week instead. Things came up for him at the last minute that made tomorrow impractical. I should be able to swing next Wednesday somehow. I might have to take a taxi down to get him, given Wednesday both [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor and [livejournal.com profile] ingvisson are in Seattle in the evening teaching Irish, but we shall see what can be done. I'll email them both and see if we can arrange something.

I haven't emailed the consulate with any of my other questions yet, but I did a hell of a lot of stuff today, so I don't feel too badly about it. I'm making progress, even when it's hard and I'm tired.

Tomorrow, group at the VA.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (autumn maple leaves)
Today mostly consisted of some cooking (I roasted a chicken) and Irish class. There was a little dishwashing, and a lot of online researchy stuff for Italy, but not a lot of physical activity.

Mostly right now I'm feeling a bit downhearted. It's not serious, just the current limbo, and concerns about dealing with the DoDC+3 in Italy. My brother lives in a tiny apartment on a farm with a bunch of other animals and I'm really concerned about how my poor little guy is going to deal with that. I worry that I might have to give him up, though my brother says it's okay to bring him. I would hate to bring Chris over and then have something go badly wrong when I get there, considering how aggressive he is around other animals.

Tomorrow I might go down to Seattle for the queer Pagan meetup. It sounds like [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor and [livejournal.com profile] ingvisson are up for it, and there might be a stop at Galway Traders.

Right now, though, I just want to curl up in a little stress ball in a corner somewhere. Not useful.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (Ganesha)
The contractor came in to do another examination of the bathroom ceiling today. The water in the insulation was, apparently, the result of a tub overflow very shortly before the ceiling was opened up. One of the people upstairs was home - she said there hadn't been an overflow, but she's not the only one who lives there so she may not have known about it. There is no mold in the ceiling of my bathroom. No running of water in the upstairs bathtub, sink, or toilet produced any dripping water. There was no water in the plastic that had been put up Saturday. None of the woodwork inside the ceiling was wet. All is well, and repairs will continue as anticipated, so this was very good news.

Someone came by to see the place today, and I have an appointment for somebody to come on Thursday at 1pm to have a look as well. No idea if there is any actual interest, but things are progressing. While waiting for the realtor and client to come and go today, I took the DoDC+3 outside up to the dog area and sat in the sun on one of the benches for a while, just soaking up the sun.

I got my brother on Skype today for a little while. We talked about the idea of him coming to the consulate with me, which he says he's willing to do if it won't interfere with his work, so that shouldn't be a problem. He doesn't think it would be too necessary, though he agrees that modifying how I look temporarily will probably help. The largest thing that he may be able to do for me involves dealing with the money end of things. He's got quite a bit saved up from when he was in Baghdad a year and a half or so ago; it might be enough to deal with the monetary requirements the consulate wants fulfilled. He needs to ask some questions to find out how it has to be arranged so as to work best for us, and if we can do this before early next year it would be for the best, as his current Active Reserve contract ends around the end of the year; he's going to have to wait again before he can sign up with them, and the economy over there is no better than it is here, so he'll be living on that money while he tries to find work.

That said, if I can sell this place and get through the visa application process reasonably quickly, I'll be able to help him out once I get there, given that I have an actual substantial monthly income that isn't going away. I was grateful and relieved, because it's that monetary aspect that concerns me most about this process.

I did some more work on my Italian language online, sorted a little more of the kitchen stuff, and hauled the sorted items out to the garage until I can figure out how to deal with it.

Today I also called mom and talked with her for a little while. She's got bronchitis again but is dealing with it. Her husband's diabetes complications are ongoing, but they are dealing with it as best they can. The herb that I'd mentioned to her as being recommended by my neurologist for migraines has apparently (possibly in combination with the co-q-10 she has been taking) resulted in a drastic reduction in the number of her migraines. She usually has 15 or more of them in a month. This month, her grand total of migraines was ONE. She is thrilled and hopes that this continues.

I have not had any particular success with the herb so far, but I will see about adding the co-q-10 to the regime and find out of that will help at all. It's gawdawful expensive in the stores around here, but apparently you can get it a lot more cheaply online. I'll have to look into it. The past few days I have been headachey again and, though it wasn't too bad, I did have a headache again today for a while. This one was more transient than the usual migraines, more like just the combination of stress and fibromyalgia that sometimes hits me and leaves me with pain in my head.

Once again I am left feeling like I did very little today, but actually got a fair bit accomplished. It's strange how so much of the progress in my life right now comes in what feels like nearly invisible increments.

Tomorrow, shrinkage. Tonight, deal with the dishes before I crash. Limbo is uncomfortable, but I have to live in this and muddle through as best I can.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (05 nin)
I finally got a call from the contractor about the bathroom. They will be here tomorrow morning at 9am, then again next Saturday morning at 9. They will do the ceiling and the bit of wall that need to be replaced, and then they will paint everything, and it won't cost me a penny, as the HOA takes care of this kind of thing. While I am not keen on being up and dressed by 9am for the contractors, at least it will be done in the next eight days. Armed with that information, I updated the realtor and got an acknowledgement back from the office.

I wrote to my correspondent who'd been to Italy (let's call her S for the sake of ease) and talked more about specifics and answered her questions. Composing the email took me an hour or so. This evening late she wrote back with more thoughts and advice, including information on which airlines have good reputations dealing with pets, and which (Air Italia, she is looking at you) are likely to leave you entirely and permanently petless. I hadn't known quite where to start looking for this information, so I was very grateful to hear about this.

From what she says, it would probably be a good idea when presenting my visa application to have the facial piercings removed for the day and get them put back in once I'm out of the consulate, and to over-dye my hair to my natural color, so as to present a somewhat more conservative (or at least mundane) appearance for the sake of the bureaucrats who will be in charge of my ability to get to Italy. While I am not keen on hiding who I am, I'm also reasonably practical. A little thing like a temporary removal of jewelry and a likewise temporary change in hair color is harmless and can be restored very quickly.

S also noted that there is a possibility that, since my money comes from federal government disability pensions, the consulate might not be quite so strict about the $50,000 requirement, which is looking more and more like it is "$50,000 in your accounts right now" rather than "have you had a total of at least $50,000 in your accounts over the past six months." Anyway, regardless of their requirement, it won't hurt to prepare with everything else they require and hope that this is not a non-negotiable issue.

I spent a goodly chunk of the rest of the day reading the blog of a woman who went with her husband and three kids to Italy for a year, living in Umbria. They had some difficulties and their first attempt was turned down; they reapplied at a different consulate after a relocation to a different state, apparently, and were eventually granted a visa. Now that's a blog I have been learning a lot of stuff from, both in regards to how and why their attempts failed, how they succeeded, and how they dealt with the bureaucracy. They also took two cats to Italy with them. I think they have recently returned to the US, but I haven't read their most recent entries yet and am not sure exactly when they got back. It might have been last month or earlier this month.

My next door neighbor got back from Costa Rica last night, where she'd been for the last week. I was out with the DoDC+3 when she got back, so I helped her haul her bags back into her place. I saw her this evening out with Tater (the dog of one of our neighbors) and she was on the phone. I waved and she came over to tell me that her little dog Rinnie had died today of a serious acute diabetic episode. What a horrible thing to have happen when you come home from vacation. A horrible thing to have happen ever, for that matter. It's so hard when you know it's coming, and something sudden like that is such a shock. I feel so awful for her, particularly as I'd nearly lost Chris a couple of years back after Steamcon when the veterinary boarding screwed up and he broke all those ribs. You've had this great holiday and suddenly everything just goes bad, and there's nothing that can be done about it. I would have given her a hug, but Tater and Chris sometimes are okay together and sometimes get snippy, and I didn't want to have a sudden dog fight break out in the middle of a hug. She said that was okay, she'd get one from me later.

I walked over to see [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor shortly afterwards, as I'd forgotten to give her something last night, and I was feeling very downhearted after hearing Sally's sad news. I figured she would want to know, and I rather needed a hug myself.

I'm still waiting to hear from Geordie, who should be back in Vancouver now after his year in Spain. I have a box of books waiting for him. He's probably going to sleep for a week.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (d'oh!)
I got a ton of stuff done today. Patrick came by and did some more work here at the house and I boxed things, shifted stuff to the garage, cleaned, and moved furniture. [livejournal.com profile] randwolf came by as promised and we moved a bunch of book boxes into my new storage unit on the hill. I've sorted all the stuff that I'll be sending to the archival library into a couple of large boxes to take over to the mailout place when a car is available. They'll have to be put into FedEx boxes of some sort as these are not shipping boxes. They're really only suitable for just carrying stuff, but it will be good to get them out of here.

The place is a lot less cluttered now, which is good, but is feeling desperately empty, which is not so good. I have a lot of shelves that are empty of books, but covered with small things that need to go into boxes so that they can be packed properly.

I still have a ton of things to do before the real estate agent gets here Friday.

As to the stupid, while I've been dealing with stuff here, I have occasionally put stuff in the fireplace and burned things like old herbs, papers with personal information on them, and other type things. I did that today but tossed a couple of candles in the pile without really thinking it through. Wax was melting all over the place, and at one point it got so hot I thought it was going to start the wooden handle of the fireplace door on fire. I couldn't get it open, so I zapped it with the fire extinguisher. Which shattered one of the tempered glass plates on the four panel folding door. On the other hand, better than burning the place down, you know?

It's kind of a mess. It's largely cleaned up but I've got a call in to a fireplace place to have somebody come and replace the panel and maybe see if there's any wax all run down below the fireplace inside, hopefully before the real estate agent gets here on Friday at 1pm. It was stupid. It will probably be kind of expensive to deal with. On the other hand, I've been pushing myself really hard and just plain wasn't thinking clearly when I did this.

I still have some cleanup to do, but most of it won't be too bad, it's just messy and yet another complication when I don't need one.

On the good end of things (in addition to getting a bazillion things done today), I was talking to one of my neighbors who used to do real estate (he actually sold several of the units at the condo here in past years), and he said that the market is getting better and prices are going up. I don't know if it will be enough of a rise in prices that I won't still have to do a short sale, but we shall see what happens.

I've had a couple of inquiries on the cargo bike. One person was asking about possibly coming over tomorrow to have a look at it, hopefully before I leave for the VA appointment at 2pm.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (all your books!)
After not having heard back from the guy at the New Alexandrian Library after I sent the tapes to him, I emailed Macha today about the issue and he emailed; apparently his emails got lost in the aether somewhere. Anyway, he says to send things along, which means that my issues of Pagan APA and APA Tarot will have a new home, I suspect, along with a bunch of various issues of Pagan magazines. I don't have the collection I used to. Over the years I've got rid of a lot of things or given them to other people, but there's a fair collection of them here, and tapes and videos of presentations I've given or have been at. He'd said he couldn't guarantee they would keep all of them, but that they would at least try to find homes for whatever they didn't need. I'm good with that. When I have access to a vehicle, I'll haul things over and they will pay the FedEx fees for me to send them things.

Huge amounts of taking things off the walls in the living room, sorting through things, packing my bronzes from India and Tibet, and moving a little stuff out to the garage got done today. I got a call back from the storage place on Capitol Hill and have arranged a ride to get down there Wednesday to sign for the unit and take the first load of boxes over there. I have to inventory the boxes first so I have a running list of everything that goes into the unit for when I do move to Italy (if I get there).

It was an emotionally really hard day; the more stuff comes down, the less this place feels like my home anymore. It's becoming a hollow shell of what it once was. It's going to be hard being here during the transitional period, between listing the condo and actually moving away, when most of my things are in storage and my life has been pared down materially to a shadow of itself. I have a candle burning tonight for my Brigid flamekeeping shift, but the most recent candles I bought for it are absolute crap and won't stay lit.

I got a call from the VA today to schedule the MRI. I need to be there an hour ahead of time for some kind of contrast medium IV, and I need some lab work before I do the appointment for some kind of baseline; that I will probably try to do on Thursday, if there's enough time after my weekly group. The MRI is scheduled for Friday, August 9th. I'll need to get a couple of my piercings removed over at Laughing Buddha before then, as I can't get them out (and probably not back in, either) by myself. Most of them are fine and easily doable, but the nose piercing and one of my ear piercings are just painful to try to deal with. I haven't tried doing the eyebrow piercing myself, but we'll see how that goes. I'll get them put back in again afterwards, as well. Worth the money to get a pro to do it if doing it myself is going to hurt me.

Tomorrow, Patrick is supposed to come by to help me do things for a few hours. I'm going to have to get more packing peanuts before I can pack more books. I used the rest of them packing the bronze statues in one box. I have a few things I could wrap in some bubble wrap and put in small boxes, but for the most part, I need the peanuts for filling in the edges around books in boxes so they won't bend each other too much. The mailing outlet down the street can be walked to, and they do have peanuts, though we may have to make a couple of trips. Patrick doesn't have a car, so it'll be walking and carrying things; peanuts are light but pretty bulky, and it needs to get done. There will probably also be some cleaning done, and perhaps photos of my bicycle so that I can list it on craigslist.

[livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor might come by tomorrow as well. We shall see - she wasn't feeling too well today, so didn't come, even though she'd hoped to. She's also got a lot to do at her own place at the moment.

And now, since I'm expecting Patrick sometime around noonish, I should ought to crawl off to bed. I didn't sleep well at all last night and am hoping to do a little better tonight.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (Northwest forest)
I was contacted by the referred realtor today, and we are going to schedule something for next week for him (or one of his associates, as he's out of town most of next week) to come over and talk about the condo and my options. He said he's done over 900 short sales, so he obviously has a clue here, which I am pleased by. They also have a real estate attorney affiliated with the office, who can answer questions for me if I have any. This will no doubt come in handy regarding tax issues, as I don't want to be stuck showing a "profit" I have to pay taxes on that is actually just me in a huge financial hole.

Craigslist came through for getting rid of the chairs, but I was listing them for free to just come and haul them off. It seemed about par for the course here. I still haven't sold the bed. On the up side, it looks like the guy who picked them up will be sending the chairs and a bunch of tables to a school in Africa, so they will be put to good use. Go go gadget activism.

As far as books, I packed another box of poetry books, then spent much of the rest of the day sorting a lot of my other books into categories on separate shelves or in separate sections so that they will be at least vaguely organized when I get around to packing them. Huge shelf of shamanism, several shelves on Eastern religions (Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, Shinto), astrology, etc. I'm afraid I was wobbling around a fair bit with the dizziness from all the activity. While the vertigo doesn't go away, it does sometimes get worse with a lot of activity, and I was really active today. Despite that it feels like I'm just shuffling things around, I'm actually consolidating things so that they'll be easier to deal with as I pack them. Needless to say, this cranks my anxiety level like crazy.

The condo association is going to wash the windows on Thursday. I pulled the screens from a couple of the windows but wasn't able to get the one out of the window in my bedroom. They're just going to have to suck it up, because it was leave it there or break the thing. It wasn't quite the same as the others. I don't know if it's in backwards or what, but I couldn't get it out from the inside and I'm not going to go around the back of the building to try to deal with this.

Tomorrow is shrinkage. Thursday is neurology, possibly my spirituality group (if I get out of neurology in time), and then a Bach concert over in Magnolia. Friday the condo association's contractor comes in the afternoon to look at the damage to the bathroom ceiling in the guest bathroom. Saturday, Jay is coming by and there will be bad movies. That's about as far ahead as I want to think right now.

I need some tylenol.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (Wile E WTF)
So today I woke up to an email from Google telling me that the account associated with my seanet email address had its password changed. That account was never used for anything other than admin on my Searching for Imbas blog; I'd forgotten the password some time ago and had never done anything with it, so the blog is actually administered from my gmail account. I attempted to go and get control of the seanet Google account back but could not because I couldn't remember when the account was created or when the last time I'd logged into it was. I went and removed it from the Blogger account, though.

Later today I got an email from Google Play saying that somebody in Tacoma had ordered something from them. The Visa used was not an account number I am familiar with. After a couple of hours of searching various Google websites and help pages, I called to try to have the order cancelled. The help desk person said they'd do that if they could.

Several hours later, I got another email saying the thing had shipped. I called again and tried once again to explain things to people. I got shuffled over to Google Wallet, which is a service I have never used. After a lengthy struggle, I managed to convey that I had not ordered the item, that the address it was being shipped to was not mine, the credit card was either not mine or had expired years ago, and that I wanted any and all Google accounts associated with my seanet address deleted. I think that might have finally been accomplished. I was very clear with them that I had nothing to do with this order and, if they get defrauded because of it, I am in no way responsible for any costs associated with the mess.

My actual seanet email account and website appear to be fine, but if you get any emails from me from my seanet account that don't actually sound like they are from me? Let me know because there might have been further consequences of this incident. As far as I know, there should be no issue, but I just want people to be aware of what happened.

I've been feeling like complete crap the past couple of days anyway, and the depression is getting to me pretty badly. I talked last night to [livejournal.com profile] man_of_snows and today to [livejournal.com profile] ogam about different aspects of things I'm struggling with, which was nice. Skype text chat is pretty useful when the system actually bothers to send the messages. Sometimes they seem to just get stuck in the great bit bucket in the sky.

I'm doing my best, but it's hard right now. Not knowing what's happening or how to alleviate the problem is confusing and frightening, and the dizziness compounds the usual fibro fog to a truly awful degree. Sometimes simple conversations can get a little confusing. If I find out that the dizziness is permanent, at least that's a place I can work from. Not knowing is the hardest part of this.

And I feel like I'm complaining a lot here lately, for which I apologize. I know this isn't anything more than really inconvenient in an absolute sense. Yes, it may change my life in some extreme ways, but things could be a lot worse. That said, it's still pretty frightening. The kinds of changes I may have to contemplate are far-reaching and I wish I didn't have to think about them. Today's confusion and stress really just made things worse, but I'm doing my best to talk to people and keep on top of things.

Sometimes, however, a hug would be really nice.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (tree of life)
Despite the fact that I'm continuing on with the dizziness and that it's remaining quite uncomfortable, I've been able to maintain at least a little bit of my social life. I got a ride out to one of the local steampunk social things, that being a small gathering for one of our folks who has been deployed for the last several months and was back for a few days before he's off again until December. Sadly, [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor wasn't able to go along, as she wasn't feeling well, but a ride was arranged nonetheless. Yesterday one of the local Mensa folks gave me a ride to the monthly gathering, which has moved up to Shoreline - there was a presentation on resources for figuring out the veracity of information on the internet. I knew about some of the available resources, but did learn a few things, so that was pretty good.

The Everett Irish lessons are happening on Sundays, and the venue has flaked out on us so they have been permanently moved to my place until further notice. Next week there won't be a class, as our two teachers ([livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor and [livejournal.com profile] ingvisson) are going down to Portland for an immersion weekend.

Talked to my mom briefly today because she emailed about going to Atlanta and worrying about crossing the river before it floods. I was worried that it was a severe weather thing, but it's just that her husband is going to a ship's reunion that's happening there this coming week. No emergencies, yay! They should be leaving first thing in the morning. I'm guessing they're actually probably already on the road, given the time difference.

The dizziness is getting increasingly frustrating and depressing, but I am doing my best to just carry on. Thanks to everyone who has expressed support privately, or in other places on the web. You are greatly appreciated.

In other news, the Esoteric Book Conference is now selling memberships. The date is September 14-15 and I've ordered my membership. Sherlock Seattle has its dates (October 4-6 at the Broadway Performance Hall again) and will be selling memberships beginning early in May. These, at least, are some cool things to look forward to.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (Ganesha)
After group at the VA today, I hung out at Travelers and started making a list of the deities and heroes I need to address for the session at PCon in February. I ended up quickly reading through 2MT on my phone to collate a list of the figures associated with healing there, but I know there are other resources I'll have to go through.

When I got home, I posted an inquiry on my FB about the problems I'm having with Google Maps and trying to plot out a multi-stop trip. One person suggested MapQuest, which works much more easily but doesn't recognize my mom's address as existing. It can get me to her town, and I can use Google Maps for the bit from the highway to her place, as that program does actually know where it is when I tell it how to look. I tried working with my GPS on the project, but that doesn't do multi-destination trips either. I can, however, probably use it from point to point for realtime directions, though I will have to see if it can find mom's place. That will require my going outside, though, (when the weather is very slightly warmer - it's 27f right now) because it can't find the satellites from inside my place. I don't want to stand around outside in sub-freezing weather while the damned thing spends ten minutes trying to think.

At least I feel like I'm making a little progress on this stuff. I'll probably get a call tomorrow from the Ashland Hostel to take my information for my bed there on my way to PCon. That'll be another thing accomplished.

A bit of stressful stuff. Possibly triggery. )
erynn: Gaelic merman image (d'oh!)
My headache isn't really getting much better (sometimes I have a mild to moderate headache for weeks on end because fibro sucks), and the cold has been getting to my knees and hips, so I doubt I am going to get out to the shrine for Hatsumode this year unless things improve drastically tomorrow. Chances of that are low.

I paid the bills today and when I tried to print out the confirmation pages and such, my printer, which has been acting up lately, finally gave up the ghost. This necessitated a trip over to the store to get a new one. I then spent a couple of hours messing about with packaging and installation and wireless setup and all that stuff before I could print the receipts. At least I have reduced the number of cables doing the spaghetti thing under the desk - being this one is wireless, I don't have a USB cable to worry about.

The new printer is an Epson. The old one was an HP. I have a spare black and a spare color cartridge for it. If you use HP 92 and 93, and you're willing to send me $20 and postage, I'll let you have the pair of them. Better if you're local and can just pick them up from me, though.

After I got all that sorted, I did go grocery shopping, mostly because the DoDC+3 was out of food and responsible dog mommies get food for their critters.

Needless to say, I got little else done. Headaches are not conducive to focus. I did print out a doc from someone who wants me to offer some comments on her PCon presentation. That was part of my frustration with the printer today. I'd meant to spend some time reading it over and giving it some thought, but just didn't have the spoons by the time I got through with everything.

I ordered in some pasta from next door. It's convenient to have a few things nearby that do deliver. I felt a little better after I ate, but not quite enough to be genuinely functional. Fortunately, my hand hurts a little less today!

There was email this afternoon from Hiraeth about publicity plans for this coming year for the press. There are a few things I need to do, including actually getting off my ass and seeing about arranging readings at Elliott Bay and Open Books if possible. I wish I wasn't so nervous about talking to strangers. It's really hard for me to send an email out of the blue and say "hey, can I maybe schedule a reading at your store." I know some people are all about talking to pretty much anyone, but being introverted on top of being anxious around talking to strangers makes it difficult for me.

And now to try and maybe do a little more about the headache and possibly get something resembling sleep.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (It's raining)
There was still some snow on the cars when I got out the door today. The parking lot and the roads were clear, but it was raining a lot. The drive down to Seattle and back was stressy because of the weather, and worse in the dark.

I talked with my shrink about writing and stuff, and realized that while, yes, I do need to be writing the ogam article (I got more done on it today), I am in part writing it as a way of procrastinating about the Brigid book. The Brigid book is really a huge project for me and I have such high goals for it that it's hard for me to just sit down and be objective about it and do it. I know I'll do okay, even if it takes me a long time. It can't possibly take longer than the ogam book did, can it? I mean, that took something on the order of 18 years from when I started writing about ogam to when I finally published the book, four false starts, and more angst and hair-pulling freaking out than I really needed. This is another project where I can't let the perfect be the enemy of the good.

I stayed at Travelers for a while and even then I had to go up over Capitol Hill to avoid a stall at a downtown exit that was making I5 north from Columbian Way a parking lot. I'm not really looking forward to tomorrow's drive down for the last group of the year. I'll be down later than usual because the queer Pagan meetup is also tomorrow night, starting at 7pm, so it'll probably be 9 or 10 before I head home again, and by then traffic should be entirely gone; it'll just be late night traffic. That'll be way less stressy.

When I got home I sat down and started digging into the ogam article. When I got into it, I had three pages, one of which was illustrations. Now it's at five and about two, so I got several paragraphs in and feel like I made reasonable progress. Right now I'm mostly trying to just get the information and concepts down. Later I'll try to refine it and make it more poetic and readable. Abraxas isn't a scholarly journal, though footnotes are certainly acceptable. I do want to be able to offer both sources and analysis, but also to show the creativity of the people working with ogam in constructing magical sigils and other modern work.

The other thing I got done today was poking at a concept and general outline for a fic I want to work on after I get the ogam article done. I spent a little time in chat online with [livejournal.com profile] random_nexus, who helps me kick these things around until they take shape. She was, as usual, wonderfully helpful. I'd scribbled several pages of notes to myself in my small notebook while I was at Travelers this afternoon, between reading a book on sound and poetry and having some dinner. In chat we managed to refine some of those ideas a little more. I saved the notes in a doc file that I can pull up when I start to work on the story later.

I wish I had a little more confidence in my writing. *sigh*
erynn: Gaelic merman image (giftie)
I slept later than I had anticipated. [livejournal.com profile] ogam texted me to say he won't be getting here until the 18th, apparently, as he's been sick. I had a confusion about when the Abney Park concert is (January, thought it was December) so I thought there was a schedule conflict. I'm relieved that it wasn't an issue.

This evening [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor and I went down to Seattle to hang out with some friends at a birthday party for a couple of hours. It was nice to see everyone, and the birthday girl was thrilled we were there, so that was nice. I was out of some things that I needed (dog food, half and half) and so we stopped at Safeway on the way back. I had wanted to get out and pick things up yesterday but wasn't feeling well enough to really leave the house for it. I'm glad I was able to get out today for a little while.

I spent some time going over the two issues of Abraxas this evening and wondering whether what I want to write about ogam and magic will actually fit in with their stuff, but I suspect it's just my usual writer anti-ego speaking. That's the one that says I can't actually write and my work is crap and nobody wants to read what I have to say anyway. Which is patent bullshit, but it's what my brain churns out. I always feel this way when I'm trying to start a new project and it sucks.

I was also looking at notes and things for the Brigid book, wondering what I wanted to do with/about that. I do need to start it sometime soon, but it keeps mutating in my head and I'm not quite sure what I want to do with it beyond it being a vehicle for helping people with a flamekeeping practice. How to best accomplish that is the question. I'll probably talk about it with [livejournal.com profile] mael_brigde when she gets here later this month.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (Feminist dialectic brings 'em)
After starting the day with a mild headache, things got rather a bit better. I was feeling fairly anxious over the elections, but I do that every time we have one. National elections tend to be much more stressful than local ones, but this one turned out reasonably well as these things go, at least in my opinion.

There's still a lot to be concerned about - drone strikes, privacy issues, indefinite detention, trans* rights, bringing people home from Afghanistan, among others. Yet we still have a president who is mostly in favor of civil rights, marriage equality has made some headway, and the right of adults over 21 to use marijuana if they wish to has apparently been passed. I'm not going to have to worry quite so much about the viciously anti-woman Republican agenda taking away the rights I've had for most of my life. Some measures apparently passed that I'm not thrilled with, but I wasn't expecting as much good news as I did get, so I'll suck it up and deal, as always.

This evening I'd been planning to go over to Picadilly Circus and hang out with the steampunks, saving any potential panic attacks for after I got home. About 8:30 local time, the presidential race was called for Obama, which meant I could defer the panic attack on that issue for another four years. I hung out with my steampunk friends for a couple of hours, then briefly visited with [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor for a little while when I got home.

Due to the headache and not feeling that great when I got up, I deferred getting my hair cut. I'm hoping that I'll manage it tomorrow. It really is getting unpleasantly unruly. It's definitely getting into my eyes.

Mom called today and we spoke briefly. My brother and my friend in England both received their copies of Fireflies. So far, everyone seems to like it. This pleases me.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (Totem emerald moth)
I was of two minds when I got up today. [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor invited me to go to one of her bandmate's birthday party this evening. I got myself up and dressed and did my dishes, then decided I'd probably be all right.

I like the folks whose party it was. They have a really nice place. When we got there one of their guests had a kid who might have been four years old, and who was into everything. It's always hard for me to be around little kids. It's like having a porcupine jammed into my aura. I have a lot of trouble shutting out the stuff about kids that bothers me. I react to kids about the same way that some people react to fingernails on chalkboards. There was going to be a jam, and [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor brought her harp along. M was messing about with mics and speakers and there was a lot of feedback happening off and on during the evening. Another person came and brought an infant. And stage lights were turned on and the lights turned low so that the flickering lights were doing the strobe effect thing at intervals.

Between everything, at about hour two I was feeling really stressed and out of it. We were there for about four hours total. I was so stressed out that my entire body was one giant cramp when I got home. I'm still trying to wind down from it. I've been home for about three hours and am finally getting to the point where I don't feel like a fizzing wreck. I think I may skip out on parties there unless I know they're going to be adults only, and somebody else is dealing with the mics. I was only able to turn on a little music about 15 minutes ago and be able to tolerate it.

Some people tolerate all that stuff really well. I'm not one of them. I never really have been. I can cope with large crowds for a limited time. I can cope with noise. I love going to live music shows. Something like this where I'm confined in a small space with kids and quite a few folks I don't actually know, with no control over what's happening around me, particularly when I'm tired to begin with, really takes it out of me. I'm one of those people who needs a lot of alone time at the best of times, but when I'm under the weather, I tend to be hypersensitive to anything discordant, jittery, or stressful. I love people - when they're in another building and I can talk to them via text or IRC.

I cooked some chicken rogan josh, and that helped. I discovered that two days in a crockpot on low is enough time for garbanzo beans to actually be soft and tasty - this is very useful information, as I hadn't been leaving them in that long previously, and they just weren't cooking properly. I had put them in with a lot of water, some bay leaf, fenugreek seed, a hunk of ginger root cut into half-inch pieces, and half an onion and just let them go. They were perfect for putting into the rogan josh when I made that this evening. I've also got some chicken broth now, and will be picking meat off the bones of the back and other remains sometime before I head to bed tonight.

I wasn't able to get to breaking down the boxes that I'd hoped to today, but perhaps I'll be able to get to them tomorrow. It would be nice to get them all out of the library. I may go over to [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor's place tomorrow to help her assemble more furniture and stuff if I'm feeling like I can handle other human beings within twenty feet of me.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (tea club!)
This morning [livejournal.com profile] alfrecht, [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor, and I went out to the Shinto shrine for the fall ceremony. It was a pleasant way to spend an hour or so, and [livejournal.com profile] tedgill and [livejournal.com profile] brandywilliams were both there, so we got a little bit of a chance to catch up with them.

[livejournal.com profile] alfrecht's mom picked him up from the shrine and [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor was too tired to come down to Seattle with me later during the day for the tea and conversation. (BTW, [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor and [livejournal.com profile] thewronghands, you should follow one another and maybe we'll have an easier time getting you two in the same place at the same time!)

I stayed for the tea for a couple of hours, then hauled [livejournal.com profile] wire_mother out for some dinner and then off to chat at Cafe Vita for a while. We spent about two hours together catching up and talking about a lot of things. I was able to make a pretty large decision over the course of our conversation, I just have to figure out how to articulate it soon.

Tomorrow I'm having tea at 1 with a friend, then taking the DoDC+3 to the vet in the late afternoon. I haven't had him in to see one since he nearly got himself killed a couple of years back so he is vastly overdue for his vaccinations.

Got word from Jason today that the poetry book was sent off to the printer and he'll check over the proof copy and then approve it for publication. I'm sitting here looking at a stack of things that I need to write, one of which is for the Hiraeth website as publicity for the book. I have to put together a little bit for [livejournal.com profile] mael_brigde for the DoF newsletter. I have to put together an article from the ogam and magic talk I gave at the Esoteric Book Conference and submit it to Abraxas, then I need to get to work on the Brigid book. I'm sure there's more that I'm forgetting, but it still feels pretty overwhelming. I need to finish up the Hiraeth project Tuesday so it'll be with them on Wednesday for publication. Tomorrow I probably won't have a lot of time for it, but Tuesday I should before I have to head out for the steampunk social.

If I'm missing something I've promised to do, please do let me know. My brain is utterly sieve-like right now.
erynn: Gaelic merman image (writy pooped)
No sleep last night at all. I tried going to bed and couldn't even close my eyes. Got up at about 11:30am or so and went out to run some errands, picking up a few things I needed and doing a load of laundry. [livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor came over briefly and we talked for a few; I managed to get a couple of paragraphs done on the piece I need to finish tomorrow for Hiraeth. Bills got paid, as well. I keep thinking I must be missing something, but I'm not sure what it is.

Tomorrow evening I'll be heading over to Snohomish with a couple of the Everett steampunks to check out a new venue. It's an English pub called Picadilly Circus, apparently run by an English immigrant and his wife. Qi went over this past week and spoke with them about the group and they do have a back room where it will probably be quieter than the main room. They do serve food, though mostly pub grub. We'll see what the menu looks like when we get there.

Lately my stomach has been giving me a lot of trouble again and eating has been kind of painful. Probably as much stress as anything else. I've been trying to keep eating enough to go on without murdering my digestive tract. It's nasty but it's been this way before. I've added back the evening pill for that instead of just taking one in the morning and I'll see if that can help some.

I'm hoping very much that having been awake for about 32 hours or so, I'll actually be able to get some sleep tonight when I crawl off to bed here in a little bit. Got to have enough brain cells to bang together tomorrow to actually finish up the page or so I'm supposed to send in to Leslie.

PCon stuff

Sep. 14th, 2012 03:18 am
erynn: Gaelic merman image (get pagan sinfest)
Today's VA group was good. I enjoy being with everyone and talking about the topics we explore. I had things at home I wanted to do today so I drove home directly rather than going up to the hill. Before I got home, I stopped at the store and got a little laser pointer to use on Saturday.

When I got home, I had several bits of email of note. [livejournal.com profile] druid_medb and [livejournal.com profile] joyful_storm had both send me the draft proposals for the joint sessions/panels that we had discussed so we could get them out for the deadline on the 15th. I also got an email from Tony M about a potential ritual, but had to offer only a tentative acceptance on that one. There are a lot of unresolved issues around the situation at the moment and I want to be sure that it's properly handled before I say yes.

I also got an email from [livejournal.com profile] finnchuill, whose friend Neeli Cherkovski read over my book. He says Neeli liked it and wants to give the publisher a quote for it, though he's in Austria and Italy for some poetry festivals and it may be a bit. I've put [livejournal.com profile] finnchuill in touch with Jason and Leslie from Hiraeth so they can arrange the details.

Tomorrow I have my VA appointment for the orthotics. I need to put the publicity cards on a sheet and get some printed out for the EBC. I'm going to stay down in Seattle tomorrow after my appointment, as the EBC opening party is tomorrow evening down in Pioneer Square. I'm not quite sure how to do that, but I'll see what I can do. It shouldn't take too much longer. I need to be up at 11am tomorrow morning, though.

[livejournal.com profile] gra_is_stor got the keys to her new place today and has given me one as well. She'll be moving in most of the weekend but will be at the EBC with me on Saturday, at least.

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